


Being

by Braincoins



Series: Ryoumelle [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Existential Angst, F/M, Fluff, Ryou aka Kuron, Ryoumelle, those two go together right?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:57:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22338124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Braincoins/pseuds/Braincoins
Summary: The Goddess calls and Her Sacred must answer. Ryou's glad to tag along. But a light walk turns into heavy conversation as Ryou's existential crisis rears up as well.
Relationships: Romelle/Ryou (Voltron)
Series: Ryoumelle [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1671298
Comments: 8
Kudos: 8





	Being

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't mean for this to happen, it just did. 
> 
> Read [Adjustment](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22173457) first (and maybe [Yours and Mine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19092493)) - I may have to start putting these together as a series. In addition to the Author's Notes from those fics, slight note: in Components, we see Allura reading High Altean more or less fine while she's in the Temple, but struggling to translate it when she's alone on the Castle. (To her, it's not "Ancient"; to the Altean Diaspora, it's 10,000+ years old, after all.)
> 
> "I know ~~kung fu~~ High Altean."  
> "Show me."
> 
> In V:LotD, both Allura and Romelle have _actual last names_. On Altea, Allura would not normally use (or even need) a surname; she would simply be Princess Allura. However, the royal family maintains a surname used primarily when dealing with cultures where it is more usual to have one: Cyneboren. It essentially translates to “of royal birth.” (Yes, I raided Old English for this.)
> 
> Romelle, being a descendant of a branch of the royal family, has the last name Cynehad.
> 
>   * cyne - royal, kingly
>   * boren - past particple of beran - to bear, carry; to wear; to sustain, support; to bring forth, produce, give birth
>   * had - person, individual 
> 

> 
> So, basically, Allura’s occasional surname is just “of royal birth” while Romelle’s, being from a branch of the royal family is “royal person."
> 
> Little to no editing, which I will regret almost as soon as I hit Post, I'm sure.  
> ===================

“I have to go back to the Temple,” she told him one morning, basket of drinks and snacks on her arm.

Ryou frowned. “Why? Is something wrong?”

Romelle shook her head. “No, not at all. But apparently part of being Sacred – and being this close at hand – means going to the Temple occasionally. I don’t know why; I can’t explain it better than that. She just… calls to me.”

“Then we’ll go.”

“You don’t have to come with.”

“I want to.” He reached for her hand.

She gave it to him, along with a smile. “I would never turn down your company.”

He smiled widely, feeling his heartbeat pick up.

She’d been Sacred for almost a month now, since their last trip to the Temple of the Goddess of the Universe. He’d been Altean for that same amount of time, and they’d been dating since then as well.

Most importantly, he could sleep better now. He’d been cloned from the Black Paladin of Voltron, Takashi Shirogane. A lot of Shiro’s PTSD was his own, but it had seemed a secondary pain compared to the fact that some evil witch had cloned him for her own dark, twisted purposes. He’d been created as a tool of wicked design, and that haunted him more than any half-remembered memories of the Arena.

But since the trip to the Temple, he no longer awoke in the middle of the night. No more jolting back to reality, throat sore and skin sweat-slick, eyes flickering about to find enemy combatants in the dark. He still had nightmares, but they had decreased in severity and frequency, and the night terrors were a thing of the past. Sometimes, he remembered the feeling of the Goddess of the Universe kissing his forehead, softly, just before he fell asleep. On those nights, he had nothing but good dreams, usually involving Romelle.

So he accompanied her out of the village.

“Why are you coming with?” she asked curiously. “Just to spend more time with me, or do you have something you want to do?”

“I love spending time with you, of course. But I also want to thank the Goddess for all She’s done for me.”

“Is that _all_?” she asked, peering at him.

He cleared his throat. “Damn you for being observant. Does that come with the Sacred territory?”

She laughed. “No, that comes with the ‘being your girlfriend’ territory.”

“Say it again.”

She didn’t ask for clarification. “I’m your girlfriend, Ryou.”

He stopped and turned, pulled her into him so he could kiss her for that. She held onto him, made the kiss longer and deeper than he’d intended at first. She never gave him half-hearted kisses or hugs; she never did _anything_ half-way.

But they had to keep walking, to get back to their little quest. He kept hold of her hand.

“I’m so glad I could be Altean for you,” he said with a contented sigh.

“You didn’t have to be, though.”

“It helps.”

She frowned. “Ryou, you’ve been a wonderful man ever since we got that witch’s programming out of you. Ever since you were given the freedom to Be _You_.”

“But I wasn’t…”

“You’ve never needed to be Altean for me to care about you or want to be with you,” she asserted. “I’m not in love with your ears and eyemarks, silly space man.”

He blushed and squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”

“And none of this answers my question from earlier.”

“I know.” But he hesitated to say more.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“Thank you. It’s not that it’s private or that I don’t _want_ to tell you, but I… don’t know how to explain it. And…”

“And with the Goddess, you don’t have to explain. She just knows.”

He nodded. “Exactly.”

“I understand.”

They walked along in silence, broken only by the occasional offering and grateful acceptance of the _kafa_ mug between them.

“What is it like, being Sacred?” he asked.

She made an almost musical little, “Hmm,” in thought. “It’s not very different, honestly. I feel… abundant, I guess.”

“That’s… not how I’ve normally heard that word used.”

She laughed again. “Not normally how I’d use it. I can tell I have a lot more quintessence, but it’s not the same thing as saying ‘I have more energy.’ I’m… I’m _me_ , and I’m even more ‘me’ than I’ve ever been before, abundantly so, so much so that I can share myself and my energy with people and things and…”

“Oh, and thank you for stopping by the other day, for that test run.”

“You’re welcome. Again. You’ve already thanked me many times, and I was glad to do it. Both for you _and_ the colony.”

“Yes, but you deserve another thanks because I forgot to mention to you the look on Dynart’s face when he saw what happened when you channeled your quintessence through the new power unit.”

She giggled. “Stunned, was he?”

“Poleaxed. Just _floored_. I thought he was going to drop to the ground and start worshipping you on the spot.”

“Oh, heavens, no! Please don’t let him ever do that!”

“No, no,” he agreed, tugging her in closer to him so he could whisper in her ear, “worshipping you is _my_ job.”

She giggled again, but blush washed over her cheeks, strong enough that it threatened to drown her freckles. “Well, you’re doing it very well.”

He kissed her cheek and resumed their journey. “I’m glad to hear it. Any other Sacred differences so far?”

“Oh, yes, the headaches.”

“Being Sacred gives you headaches?” he asked.

“Being Sacred means studying the old texts our ancestors managed to save from Altea’s destruction, which is all written in not only Ancient Altean but Ancient _High_ Altean, so I have to _learn_ Ancient High Altean, and _that_ gives me a headache.”

He laughed this time. “Perhaps the Goddess has called you to attend Her so She can download Ancient High Altean into your brain?”

“Please, Goddess, please, _please_ let it be so,” she prayed fervently. “I’ve sent some of the more difficult texts to Princess Allura, and even she says that she thinks the Goddess helped her decipher them at the time she was in the Temple, because she can barely make out a word or two.”

“Did you ask _her_ for ‘being Sacred’ advice while you were at it?”

“Yes. She mentioned something about ‘watching your energy expenditure’ while also making sure I don’t end up with _too much_ quintessence. It’s all a balancing act. But I’ve also been doing some experimentation of my own.”

“Oh, such as?”

“Well, I didn’t want to plant that juniberry outdoors with winter almost upon us. I’ve got it in a pot inside. It took me a bit to figure out how much water it liked, what kind of soil to sand ratio, all of that. So when it looked a little sickly, I would try to give it some of my quintessence.”

“I’m guessing that worked every time.”

“It did! How’d you guess?”

“Because how could any living thing _not_ love you?”

Her cheeks went red again. “Ryou, you’re so sweet.”

“I’m just telling the truth,” and as he said it out loud, somewhere in his mind, Takashi said it as well: to Adam, to Kimberly, to Josh and Tyler and Bex and…

He blinked out of it and realized he’d stopped moving. Romelle was in front of him, looking up at him in concern. “It happened again?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Sorry, let’s keep going.”

She nodded in response, but grabbed his hand again as they did so. She gave it a gentle squeeze. “You can’t help being like your twin brother in some ways, you know. And _don’t_ say it.”

Because she knew he’d been about to protest the ‘twin brother’ appellation; she knew him well, even before they’d begun to date.

“I’m still thinking it. It’s getting easier to think of him that way, it is. But when something like this happens, it’s all… I can’t…” He sighed.

“Is this the other thing you wanted to talk with the Goddess about?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I mean, maybe I shouldn’t be asking Her for favors, but…”

“She’s a Goddess. It’s natural for people to pray to Her when they’re in distress.”

“I don’t know how to do that, though. Last time I just sort of babbled at Her.”

“Well, do that again. It seems to have worked well enough.”

“I feel awkward. I feel like there should be some sort of… ritual or ceremony or…”

“Maybe I’ll be able to help with that, too. As the only Sacred who can attend upon the Goddess and all.”

“Oh, look out, now she’s putting on airs.”

Her brow furrowed. “How do you put on air? It’s _air_ , it’s intangible, unless it’s wind, but even then…”

“Earth saying,” he told her with a chuckle. “Means you’re getting uppity, acting like you’re better than everyone else.”

“Oh. Well, I _am_ better than everyone else.”

He nodded. “Because you’re Sacred.”

“Because I have the sweetest and sexiest boyfriend on the entire planet, if not in the entire universe.”

He was the one blushing now. “Thank you, but I’m not responsible for you being the most wonderful person in all existence.”

“True,” she agreed, though her blush had come back, “but you’re proof of it. After all, no one else would deserve someone like you.”

“I… I’m not really sure what to say to that.”

“Good, so you’ll just shut up and accept the compliment then?”

“I suppose I have to.”

She beamed and snuggled his arm to her, drawing them in closer as they walked. After a few moments, she said, “You know I don’t really _deserve_ you, right?”

“What do you mean? You really are the most wonderful person in all existence.”

“Thank you, it’s sweet that you think that, but I don’t want you to think that… that you’re a _thing_ or that I feel entitled to you in some way.”

“Oh, no! No, no, I would never…!”

“Okay, just checking. I know you’ve got that tendency to think of yourself that way, is all, like you’re some sort of tool or weapon, and I didn’t want you to feel…”

He reached over and put his hand over their joined ones. “I still have trouble not thinking of myself like that, you’re right. But I know you’ve never thought of me that way.”

“Never,” she agreed. “And I never will.”

And they settled back down into companionable silence as they continued to walk, and the sun continued to rise.

“If I had to belong to someone though…”

“ _Ryou_ ,” she groaned.

“…I’d far rather it be you than… than _Her_.”

Romelle was silent a moment and then said, quietly, “I take it you’re not talking about the Goddess that time.”

He just nodded.

“But that’s just it: you never belonged to her. Never.”

“She made me.”

“So? Do children belong to their parents?”

“I…”

“Parents are ‘responsible’ for their children, when they’re still little, but that doesn’t mean they _own_ them. You can’t own another person; it’s wrong. It’s cute to say things like ‘you’re _mine_ ’ when you’re in love and all that, but it’s not literal. It can’t ever be literal.

“And Haggar is _not_ your mother, she could never be. And even if she were, she wouldn’t own you.”

“She _made_ me,” he repeated. “No, she’s not my mother, because mothers give birth to their children. She made me, created me out of some cells from an arm…”

“That wasn’t hers, that wasn’t hers to take, wasn’t hers to do,” Romelle insisted.

“I would not exist if it weren’t for her wrongdoing.”

She sighed. When she spoke again, her every word was underlined with the steel of her resolve. “Your existence isn’t wrong, and you are _your own person_ , Ryou. You never, ever belonged to her or the Galra Empire, even though she thought you did, even though they made you think you did. They’re the ones who wanted you to be nothing but their weapon. It is an act of defiance to live in the truth that they tried to deny you: _you are a person_ and you can make your own choices.”

He squeezed her hand again.

“I’m glad you’re going to talk with the Goddess about this,” she said, laying her head against his shoulder as they walked. “I worry about you sometimes.”

“I know you do. I’m sorry for that, but it’s nice to know you care.”

“Of course I do. I always have.”

“Always?” he asked in surprise.

“Not as much as I care for you now, but of course I’ve cared about you from the moment I met you.”

He snorted. “Now you’re stretching it. I was brought here because I attacked the paladins and the princess, because I was an evil clone, because…”

“Because you were a person they wanted to save,” she finished for him. “Because they recognized that, even if the Galra had made you, that alone didn’t make you evil. They brought you to us so we could help you, free you, because you were a prisoner in your own mind after what Haggar did to you.

“I have never seen you as a thing, Ryou. Never a monster or a tool or a weapon or anything like that. My first thought when I saw you was, ‘Oh, you poor man. What did they do to you?’”

He blinked. “Really?”

“Really,” she affirmed. “Would I lie to you?”

“Only about how many slices of cake you’ve already had.”

She chuckled a little at the memory. “It _was_ pretty good cake. But I’d never lie about something like this.”

“I know that. I guess I’m just surprised. Even on my best days, I feel like I _became_ a person, rather than always having been one. Like I started out as a weapon and it’s only because of you and the others here that I’m a person at all.”

She shook her head. “You’re too hard on yourself.”

“I get that from him, you know.”

“What a surprise,” she intoned dryly, “a paladin who’s self-sacrificing.”

“Oh, is that normal?”

“From some of the things Allura and Coran have said? Yeah, pretty much. It’s basically a requirement. And it’s easier to sacrifice yourself if you don’t have a very high opinion of yourself to begin with.”

“True.” He considered that. “Do you think I’m self-sacrificing?”

“I think you could be, in the right circumstances. I hope we never have to find out for sure.”

The Temple was rising to meet them again. Ryou looked up. Nearly noon, same as last time. Either this was just where the Temple was, or it preferred them to walk exactly this far before it came to them. It amounted to the same thing, in the end.

The doors opened as they approached this time. As before, he released Romelle to enter first. She was the Sacred one, the Goddess’s chosen, and she was the one who had been called. He was a tag-along, in effect, and he was honestly a little surprised when the doors didn’t slam shut in his face.

The inside looked the same as last time, though it was better lit to begin with, and the sound of the doors closing behind them didn’t carry the same ominous tone. As last time, Ryou wasn’t sure if he was welcome here, but at least now he felt safe. That might be foolish, but it was still true.

Romelle went to kneel before the altar, clasping her hands and bowing her head.

Ryou mirrored her.

_It’s me again. Thanks for not shutting me out. I came here to thank You for everything You’ve done for me, and to… well, I hope it’s not asking too much, but…_

_**You don’t have to thank me, and you’re not asking too much.**_

The same voice, soothing, maternal.

It continued, **_Ryou, do you know who I am?_**

**** _The Goddess of the Universe._

_**Yes, but do you understand that?**_

**** _I… guess not._

_**I am the source of all life in the universe.**_

_Oh._ It was a stupid thing to…

**_It’s not stupid. It’s hard to know what to say that. I understand._**

**** _Thank you._

_**You are alive, are you not? Does your heart not beat, your lungs not inhale and exhale, your blood not course through your body?**_

**** _Yes._

_**Then you came from me, Ryou.**_ There was the feeling again: a soft hand brushing away his hair and a gentle kiss being pressed to his forehead. **_I am the Mother of All Living Beings, and so I am YOUR mother. Without me, you would not exist, you would not live._**

**_I made you Altean because it was necessary, not because there was anything wrong with you as you were._ **

**** _Necessary?_

_**For the good of the universe. For a prophecy faded from the minds of the living. But a forgotten prophecy still comes to fulfillment.**_

**_Takashi is part of a prophecy, but not this one. His role is different than yours, no matter how similar you two are. He has his trajectory, you have yours._ **

**_I renewed my contract with the Altean people by strengthening the Sacred bond already within Romelle Cynehad. That destiny was always within her, waiting for the right time to be brought to the fore. And your destiny is similar to hers: to bring back what was lost, to restore the symbols, the methods, the traditions of Ancient Altea that helped make them what they were._ **

**** _So I had to be Altean._

She made an odd noise, somewhere between a grunt and a giggle. **_In a way, you always were. I just made it obvious._**

**** _I don’t understand._

_**I know.**_

He waited. _Not going to explain that one, are You?_

_**I can’t give you ALL the answers, Ryou. Some you have to find for yourself, some require you to choose, and some… some you’ll just never know for sure. That’s part of what makes living an adventure: the uncertainty of it all.**_

**_I will always be your mother, Ryou Shirogane, but I can’t answer every question you have. You can’t thank ME for everything good in your life. Romelle loves you because of who you are, not because of anything I’ve done to you or to her. You can’t thank me for that. You’re a good person because of who you are, because of the choices you’ve made when you were finally free to do so._ **

**_I am your source, your origin, and thus, necessarily, your past. You make your own future. You build it with your choices, your words and deeds here, now, in the present._ **

**_You Are Here Now,_** she said, stressing each word. **_You have the life I gave you. Make it your own._**

He opened his eyes and exhaled. He looked to Romelle, but she was still in prayer.

When he rose, there was a chair for him. He sat, drank some water from one of the packets Romelle had brought, and thought about what She had said.

And when Romelle finally rose, he asked her, teasing softly, “Did She teach you how to read Ancient High Altean?”

“Don’t know,” she admitted. She walked over and fished another water packet out of the basket. “I suppose we’ll find out.”

“What did She want? Am I allowed to know?”

She smiled. “Not all of it. But She did say you should come with me as often as you’re able to, when we make these little walks.”

“Really?”

She nodded. “In the earliest days of the Sacred, some saw them as things to acquire, sought to kidnap them, use their gifts for their own advantage. So, back then, it wasn’t unusual for a Sacred to have a protector, to make sure they were safe on their way to and from the Temple.”

“I’m your protector then?” He smiled.

“My… what was that term from your stories? Knight in Shiny Armor?”

He laughed. “Close enough.”

“Eventually, the protectors weren’t needed, once people stopped treating the Sacred like holy relics to pilfer. The protectors then went to the Temple and swore themselves directly to Her service, warriors at Her command. And those were the first paladins.”

He blinked. “So, I’m… sort of a paladin.”

She nodded. “You are. A Proto-Paladin, really.”

He thought about that. “I like that. I like protecting you, anyway. The walk hasn’t been dangerous yet, but I don’t mind coming out with you every time.”

“Well, you never know. Just because it’s been quiet so far, doesn’t mean we won’t face peril at some point. Some wild animal or something.” She shrugged. “Who can say?”

He glanced at the altar. “Yeah. Who can say.” He picked up the basket and stood. “Are you ready to head back then?”

“Yes,” she agreed with a nod. “I always feel refreshed after praying here.”

“So do I.” He crooked his right arm out in offering. “Shall we, my lady?”

She giggled and took his arm. “I believe we shall, O Shiny Knight.”

“Off into adventure with us then!” he declared.

And they laughed, together, in the Temple of the Goddess of the Universe.


End file.
